Anxiety disorders can be insulated, isolating, crippling, and all-consuming for roughly 42 million American adults who are suffering from these mental health conditions. (Love Someone With Anxiety)
A support system of a family member, friends, and romantic partners can be highly helpful to those with anxiety, but only if their loved ones understand what they do (and do not) need to cope.
We asked our readers/ visitors to tell us what they wish the people closest to them who understood about loving someone with anxiety. Today we are going to share 20 Things To Know If You Love Someone With Anxiety.
Love Someone With Anxiety
How do you calm down anxiety?
Listening is the best thing you can do.
You do not have to have the answers. It cannot be settled even though you want to fix it. Simply listen. Let them know that you are there. Let them have some space if they need it, or if they need words and hug; please allow.
Support our anxiety instead of sweeping it under the mat.
Do not treat it as if it is a passing thing or that it does not exist. Truly understand that if your partner could make it go away, then they would.
Your support means a world to us.
I have been with my girlfriend for over a year. I know that I am not always the easiest one to love. And I will get on her nerves and sometimes make her wonder why I respond the way I do.
But when I do overthink and doubting on myself, then it means the world that she is still by my side ? we both accepting our differences, and she still loved me whenever I sometimes find it hard to love myself.
Please do not tell us to calm down or that we are stupid.
?Calm down? is about as effective (and just as disturbing) as trying to purify a dog. We are usually 1000% aware of whatever we are afraid of is irrational. Telling ourselves that it does not turn off our brain magically. (Love Someone With Anxiety)
Do not take it personally when we are having a bad day.
You know that our anxiety is not about you, even if you think you activate it. We are feeling intensely devastated. Offer us something which may help distract or decrease the anxiety.
Anxiety is a part which in the brain and cannot be helped by anyone in this problem. Other externals factors can be. Offer an escape (like ?Let?s go outside?) or anything you know, which can help us in the reduction of our symptoms.
Remember that not all anxiety is the same.
My wife and I both were suffering from depression and severe anxiety. While we both were suffering, it affects us individually, and the thing which helps me may not help her.
I need physical contact and encouragement. She needs space. If you know what benefits your significant, it will make your relationship secure. (Love Someone With Anxiety)
Not all of the manifestations of our anxiety are bad.
If you think anxiety is always bad, then let me tell you that anxiety is not always bad at all. For some days, loving a person who is suffering from anxiety means they will think passionately and deeply about loving you.
Nervous energy is still an energy. It rarely does my anxiety allow me to make decisions without careful and deep thought? You will be thought of & cared for like you have never before.
We are deeply thankful for your patience.
Patience truly is a kindness. You may not always understand the problem of our anxiety, but as long as you show compassion and love for our discomfort, that is the most important thing.
My girlfriend will often check in if we are at a party, sensibly asking if I’m OK. This is just a simple way to show he cares. (Love Someone With Anxiety)
Do some investigation about our condition ? it might help you to understand us.
Be informed about our disorder. Understand the feelings and the reality of what I am facing and be there for me in the same way you would for a person who has a physical illness. Try to learn our triggers.
No, you cannot fix us, and that’s OK.
My wife had to learn that sometimes what is wrong does not require fixing. It is just a minute for me to process.
Please take our feelings seriously.
When my anxiety disorder was undiagnosed & untreated, I had panic attacks that I believed were blot clots or heart attack.
My loving fiancé drove me to the hospital both of the times and took it very seriously. It meant a lot to me that someone believed me that something was wrong, even if it wasn’t as life-threatening as we thought.
Anxiety can be crippling, and it just helps sometimes for someone not to minimize it or brush it off.
Encourage us and motivate us to take care of ourselves.
Take participation in healing activities with me or encourage me to stay active in things like dancing, yoga, sports, and walking.
Encouraging and motivating me also means allowing me time to do these activities by taking the children for a bit. (Love Someone With Anxiety)
Remind us that there is no shame in looking for professional help.
Encourage and motivate your partner to see a doctor or therapist. Getting treatment for anxiety can save the life of your partner; it increases their overall well-being and improve and make your relationship more strong.
Just be there for us on the bad days.
I have a very understanding girlfriend who not only gets my need to sit in the wardrobe sometimes, but bought me a blanket for whenever I am sitting in the closet, and she also joins me in there whenever my anxiety is too much for me to leave my safe and comfortable place.
They can get irritated easily
Anxiety is exhausting. It seems like the only people that understand how tiring it really can be is people with anxiety themselves.
Anxiety causes people to live in very hyper-tense states. They are always on high alert, their mind is very rarely settled down, and their body is always ready to struggle, fight, or flight.
With hypertension comes laziness and fatigue. Situations that people without anxiety can just breath through are getting more tiring for those with anxiety.
Ever had a stressful and painful work week, where you woke up thinking every day, wow, I hope I will get a break soon
That’s an anxious and fearful person’s everyday life, and it is very disturbing and tiring. Remember that the next time when you are pushing someone with the anxiety to be more productive.
They can get upset easily
Connecting into the previously noted hyper-tense state, they are also devastated easily because of it. They are aware of everything are going on around them.
Every action, every noise, every smell, every person, every light, every object. For someone, it is existing in such a hyper-alert, which states a situation that does not seem that devastated (for example: the thought of more than a few people talking in a room) can cause their head and mind to spin.
When you are trying to encourage someone with anxiety to go somewhere, keep in mind that the intensive you enjoy can just as quickly be devastated for them.
Try not to hook them into the situation. Make sure that they know they can leave and are able to do so at any point. (Love Someone With Anxiety)
They are well aware their anxiety is generally irrational
Being aware of the insanity does not stop the thoughts from running in the mind. It does not stop thinking of hundreds and thousands of different worst-case scenarios.
If you think it was as easy as saying okay, that’s crazy no point worrying about it,? then the majority of those people who are living with anxiety would not have problems like this with it anymore.
The worst thing about anxiety is how aware of the insanity they can be. Pointing out that it is irrational does not help then, my dear friend, they already know this.
What they need from you is understanding, compassion, and support hardly they need your advice on how pointless and irrational their anxiety it (because that is not even advice).
They can communicate about how they feel (and you have to listen)
Having anxiety does not mean that those people are incapable of communicating or expressing. (Unless they are in the situation of panic, in this case, they likely cannot.
Do not try to get them to either!) They still love to talk, and they still love to speak for themselves. They will tell you exactly how they feel.
Often when some people think that someone with anxiety or there is any problem whatsoever, cannot or won’t communicate it is because they are choosing not to.
It is usually because the other party has been entirely stuck-up when the last time they opened up. So next time, whenever you think they are incapable of speaking and talking for themselves, you bite your tongue and for god, sake, allow them to talk. Then take some time to listen to them. (Love Someone With Anxiety)
They are not (always) intentionally ignoring you
Part of managing anxiety is to control the inner monologue, which comes with it. Sometimes this can be a very attention-consuming move.
The strangest things which can set off complex thought patterns for those who are suffering from anxiety. If they suddenly change out of the conversation, then there is a good chance they are overthinking something that is just said, or they are trying to calm their thoughts down. Both of the things take immense concentration.
They are not ignoring you; or not doing this intentionally, at least. They are just trying not to have a mental disruption right there in front of you.
You do not need to ask them that are you okay and you especially do not need to question them on what you just said. If it is important, then try gently, bringing it back up when they look more attentive.
Their minds can be in a war zone mode at times. They will pinch out of the conversations unexpectedly, and they will feel awful for doing so if they realize it.
You should comfort them that you understand and ensure they have fully absorbed any important news you may have discussed, especially when if it involves them handling some responsibility (maybe you can make a note of it too!)
They are not always present or available
As mentioned earlier in the above point, they are not always present in a conversation, but it is not just a conversation that can trigger this reaction. In everyday events, it can cause everyone to get lost in reflection at some point or another.
Still, for those who are suffering from anxiety, almost everything can serve as a contemplative trigger. They will fall back into the depths of their mind automatically, and you will be likely to notice the blankness on their face.
Contrary to what the romantic movies suggest, it is not always cute to come up with it and panic them while they are lost in their thought (though sometimes it surely can be!) (Love Someone With Anxiety)
You should gently push them back to reality regularly. Remind them where they are and what they are doing (not literally, they are anxious ? they do not have short term memory loss), and to appreciate and welcome it. They will greatly appreciate your doing so.
Note: Depression Cure does not provide any type of medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.