Managing Anger-How to control anger with 4 easy tips

4 measures that can help control anger

There is always the need to know how to control anger or managing anger tips. Anger is a natural and normal human emotion used to express a deep dislike or a negative opinion about something. Anger often gets out of control and unfortunately lashes out at even the very relationships we love the most, including our friends and life partners.

Many times we become so obsessed with something to the extent that we lose control and become angry. We usually end up complaining a lot and reacting angrily to even trying to control loved ones around us. However, though we can get immediate relief from these things, in the long run, they keep losing their influence.

Many people use punching bags, pillows, or punches on the wall to vent their anger. If you are looking for ways to calm yourself or how to control anger well, then believe this, it is really a bad choice.

Managing anger in this way ends your peace of mind and increases anger even more within. It only helps you hide it from the general public. Hidden doesn’t mean absent.

Managing anger is also considered an art. By learning this art, intimacy and maturity can be increased in any relationship. That’s why in this article, I will tell you about 10 easy ways on how to control anger.

Managing Anger in real time. How to control anger on the spot

  1. Take three deep breaths

It can often be noticed that our heart beats faster when we are angry. This is because the heart has a direct link with anger. The brain consumes most of the energy derived from food eaten. Anger burns in the form of waves in our minds whenever we are angry. This triggers more blood to be supplied to the brain. The heart eventually beats faster to compensate.

In his study, Assistant Professor Robert Nicholson of St. Louis University found that anger can be reduced if the deep breath is taken. This is because taking deep breaths at the point of anger helps reduce heart beat rate which also in turn reduces the amount of anger waves in the brain. This is one of the most important tips on how to control anger.

Control of breath is very important when managing anger. Our next article can help you control your breath easily.

  1. Express anger immediately

Never think you are odd for getting angry. As mentioned above, anger is normal and natural. It only becomes unhealthy when it gets out of control. As a matter of fact it is a good habit to quickly express your dislike or opinion about any matter that doesn’t go in line with your ideas.

If you are angry at any policy or injustice done to someone, then do something about it immediately. Research has been done in this regard by the University of Wisconsin. The brain wave patterns of students were studied in the research. Students were told that the university had increased tuition fees drastically.

The research found that almost all students had sufficient anger in their brain patterns after the information. But students launched a signing petition campaign to protest against the increase in tuition fees.

After studying the brain patterns of the students who participated in this campaign, it was found that the level of anger in them was much less than the rest of the students who did not participate. The common reason for this is that anger can only be satisfied by expressing feelings or opinions about the issue concerned.

Their anger levels reduced because they had a feeling of satisfaction by participating in the campaign which expressed their opinion about the fees increment. So learn how to control anger. Always express yourself and quickly when you get angry as a way of managing anger. Never keep it inside for long because doing so can increases it to a point where it can get out of control and give rise to other problems.

  1. Create awareness

During our angry times, we usually lose consciousness. This state often reduces our tolerance and we easily destroy anything that comes in our way. Calm yourself down by creating a sign or an object of awareness. This helps us to stay alert and become conscious of ourselves and every move we make at the point of anger.

Personally I pinch myself when I start to lose my temper in order to stay focused. At times my attention is quickly drawn to myself when I hear the word ‘never’. It might sound weird but it helps a lot in managing anger.

Imagine a big stop written on a big board in your mind. If this is difficult for you, then wear a rubber band on your hand. Whenever your temper is about to cross the limit, watch the band and try to control yourself. Ask yourself whether the anger you are about to show is necessary or not. If you want to know how to control anger you should never avoid this tip.

Picture in your mind a scene where you were angry and tried to calm yourself to get control of anger. What did you say in anger then? Every time you think about that scene, you will get different reactions to yourself.

The next time you are in the same situation and are about to cross the threshold of anger, you will hit one of them and you will be able to deal with the incident better.

  1. Go for a walk

Out of sight, out of mind also works when managing anger. Whenever you are in anger, step out of the spot and go for a walk. Believe it, even a walk of 5 minutes will bring the same feeling of peace in your mind that comes when doing yoga or meditation.

Just like turning off the radio and singing in a loud voice when you are stuck in a traffic jam and your temper mercury starts going up, going for a walk will turn your mind and attention away from the state of anger.

Not only does this bring peace of mind. Everything happens really fast when we are angry. We usually don’t even remember when a glass was broken. Stepping out of the scene helps to slow the pace, leaving every move or action carefully done instead of unconsciously.

3 skills of self-control 

It has even been revealed in many studies that we should move from the prism of the concept of what is right or wrong. Controlling or managing anger can never be learned by adopting this attitude. It is always advisable to stay on the neutral path. Not everything in life can be considered either right or wrong. Anyone who knows how to control anger accepts this.

Usually, soon after expressing anger, peace, regret and repentance fill our mind. It is therefore always good to be open minded in any form of discussion. During anger times listening more rather than talking more helps to calm us down. Talking more rather increases anger levels and gets us to lose our temper. Here are three skills of self-control to help us still maintain our reasoning capabilities at the very time we are angry.

  1. Identify the symptoms of anger

Whenever you are getting angry and you feel that it may flare up, start trying to control yourself. Always some symptoms start appearing in the body before getting angry. Fistula, trembling, sweating, and increased temperature, increased blood pressure etc. Anyone who desires to fully master how to control anger will need to always remember these symptoms.

As soon as one of these symptoms is seen, start taking the deep breaths immediately. Professor Dr. Kathleen Jordan of the Department of Social Work at Texas University has also researched in this regard. Dr. Jordan says that if you do not even know what you were angry about, talk to your friends and family members. There are usually 9 reasons for getting angry, we will talk about those reasons in the next article of managing anger.

  1. Understand Anger Patterns by listening more

Think of the situation like a detective and try to understand by listening more. Assistant Professor Robert Nicholson of St. Louis University says that we should think about the conditions, people, and events that provoke us to anger. Simply put, know how to control anger by knowing what triggers your anger.

Once you understand those triggers or reasons, try to stay away from them. Next time if you face the same situation, you will be used to it and then being more mentally prepared, you can bring the situation under control.

  1. Laugh if angry

Whenever you are angry with your family members or friends, always try to laugh. This trick is always used by people doing stress relief therapy in the family. Always take a close selfie of your face in displeasure.

Compare this selfie with your photo when you were happy and had a great smile on your face. You can also share this photo with your family members when they are angry with you.

Dance together or put small gifts under their pillow. This will not only reduce their anger, but you will also get family support more than ever.


This is what South California psychotherapist Tina Tessina wrote in her book, “It Ends with You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction“.

When you lose your temper, your image becomes that of a bad person in the minds of the people around you. It doesn’t matter to you who were present at that time. A good name is better than riches so always know how to control anger.

How did you like our article? You can share your opinion, advice, and suggestions regarding any problem related to mental health in the comment box from us. Also remember to share your how to control anger tips with us.





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Read more from my favorite online resources;

  1. MayoClinic: Anger management-10 tips to tame your anger
  2. Healthline: How to control anger- 25 tips to help you stay calm
  3. HelpGuide: Anger management

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